EP 62 - Use the O.W.A Tool before you respond

Have you ever given an automatic negative reaction to something your spouse or one of your kids did or said and then was shocked at your reaction or the statement that came out of your mouth? 🤔🤨

I’ve been there. One day when my sons were younger, I recall one of them was asking me for something in the store and I responded with a pretty negative tone when I said “No!” 😡

I remember that word coming out of my mouth and for whatever reason was tuned into how I said it and I wondered, “Where’d that come from?” I mean it was a split-second reaction, no thought to it at all, just BAM! 😨😱

I mean, it wasn't like this crazed, yelling at him "NO!" but more of a direct, disgusted kind of "no". Either way, it really made me think. Do I do that often? Turns out it was more than I thought but am happy to say I got good at pausing and correcting before responding.

I remember apologizing to my son for the negative tone and that it wasn’t how I wanted to speak to him and then still told him no and why in a nicer tone. Ha-ha! 😂🤣

Though it took me a while to figure it out, I started paying more attention to my responses and worked to be slower to respond and do so more intentionally.

I came up with an acronym O.W.A. that I use to help me pause and quickly work out a properly toned response for the circumstances at hand.

It takes a bit of work to have this tool become a habit in one’s response but once you take the first step of paying attention to “how” you respond and the “tone” with which you respond you’ll be able to implement this tool with greater ease.

Give this episode a listen and the O.W.A. tool a try and you’ll see your connections and intimacy get stronger! 😍

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Your Relationship Warrior coach, 💪😎

Tom

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