EP 74 - Why You Have to Learn to Say No
Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Do you ever feel like you just don’t have enough time for your relationship? So many times, we are overwhelmed with too many obligations and responsibilities! If you’re at that point, it’s time to learn the important skill of saying NO. It’s one sure way to take your relationship to the next level of happiness and connectedness. Let’s talk about it!
Determine the Relative Weight of Importance and Duration of Any Activity Brendon Burchard teaches the RWID principle of priorities. When asked to attend, help, participate, and take on something new, you have to ask yourself how important that task is to yourself, your kids, and your family. If it takes time away from building the core strength of your relationship-connectedness sphere, then the thing you’re being asked to do will be in competition with your relationship. If the benefit and payoff of that thing aren’t very significant, it’s something to which you need to say NO. It’s a difficult thing to do if you’re new at it, but it gets easier over time, and you have the satisfaction of knowing that your relationship isn’t suffering because you are pulled in too many directions.
Don’t be afraid to say NO to family members Obviously, we have to keep some family commitments to maintain those relationships, but they can’t take priority over our primary relationships. Some familial commitments lead to negativity and drama, so those need to be let go as you wean yourself from them. Often, people can’t understand your level of commitment, but that’s OK. You have to teach others that you have certain things prioritized and won’t be limitlessly available at their every whim. They will continue to reach out to you for “saving” until you say NO. That will force them to find someone else. Don’t let extended family interfere with your true love connectedness with your soulmate, your family, and yourself.
Don’t overlook the “D”! The D in Burchard’s RWID principle stands for duration. Keep in mind that activities that involve too much time will draw your time and attention away from other commitments that are more important. Continuing to build and solidify the most important relationship with your spouse means that your available time for other commitments is limited. The single biggest factor in your happiness in life is your relationship to your spouse, and you must take care of it as the utmost priority. If someone asks you or needs you to do something else that jeopardizes your relationship time, you have to say NO. Some people will understand, and some will not. Be brave and be bold in your stance.
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