EP 78: Two Things that Kill Most Relationships
Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I hope you’re here because you care about the state of your relationship and want to make it the best that it can be! Let’s talk today about two things that will kill most relationships--and how you can avoid these pitfalls. We’ll cover the lesser of the two first--and then hit the biggie. Join me to learn more!
#2 Relationship Killer: Fears that run rampant in your mind
Most of your relationship occurs in your mind; therefore, the things that thwart your relationship success are in your mind. We have fears that run rampant in our minds and make us hesitant to approach our partner about issues, concerns, and possible improvements. That little voice we hear tells us that we can’t be open and honest, and we have a fear of loss. We are afraid that what we want to suggest or the problem we need to address will end up cutting something out of our lives. Don’t listen to the fears! Cultivate a relationship that’s honest and open with communication.
Why the little things matter--especially in what you say
On the flip side of our fears in approaching our spouse is the fact that the little things we say and do REALLY DO MATTER. You need to avoid knee-jerk reactions to what your spouse may suggest. It could be a new restaurant, a different activity, or a discussion about a sensitive topic, but the key is to be open. Ask questions, and avoid the quick comment or facial expression that says a lot without saying a lot. Don’t let your responses make your spouse feel afraid to give their input and share in vulnerable ways. Show them that you value their partnership and take care of all areas in your true-love relationship.
#1 Relationship Killer: Being unable to control your state of mind
Let’s face it--we often blame our reactions and responses on the other person. The truth is that we are simply refusing to take responsibility for our actions. Some people constantly blame the other person for pushing them to react, especially in relationships, but we don’t have to lash out in ways that show a lack of control in our physical and emotional state. If you focus on the negative, then you’ll be drawn to the negative. You choose in your mind how to react to the things going on around you, so choose happiness for your state of mind. Being loving, kind, patient, and generous should be the goal for our state of mind every single day.
***Leave me your feedback. I want to know how you are working to avoid these relationship killers and keep open and honest communication with your partner. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let’s help save the world--one relationship at a time!
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