EP 87: Relationship Lessons from Texas Hold’em Poker

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I have noticed from several directions how much time some people (primarily men) spend with video games. They play them, talk about them, and build community with fellow players online. What if they put the same effort into building their relationship? Hobbies are a good way to relax and find enjoyment, but how much is too much? Where do these hobbies fit into strong, healthy relationships? Let’s talk about it.

Hobbies can be bad news for your relationship

Some men admit that they look forward to getting home and spending several hours playing video games. When this becomes a habitual way to avoid and neglect meaningful interaction with your spouse, your relationship is headed for trouble. Other couples try to connect more with each other by “trying out” their partner’s hobbies, and even if they don’t like the hobby, they at least gain an understanding of their partner’s attraction to it while spending time together. Everyone should be aware of the addictive nature of video games, which is planned and engineered intentionally by the designers. Check yourself. Is your relationship in its death stages because your hobbies are more important than your partner?

The sad reality and the ugly truth

It is sad that a husband and wife can be in the same house–and even the same room–but be totally engrossed in their own hobbies that are separate from each other. He may be playing video games while she reads a book or does something on her phone. They are “together,” but there is no engagement or connection going on to build their true-love connection. If this disconnect happens over and over again, night after night, it can lead to division and dissatisfaction in the marriage. As the division and dissatisfaction grow, the door opens to the dangerous wolves and cougars out there who seek to draw our attention away from our spouse. How much better would it be to involve yourselves in a joint project or find ways to engage WITH your spouse to strengthen your relationship?

How to improve your relationship

Of the many things that can come into our lives to take our attention away from our spouse, video games and cellphones are two examples. We allow them to grab and keep our attention–to the detriment of our relationship. Whether at home or a restaurant, we need to put games and phones aside so we don’t continually weaken our connection with our spouse. There are many ways we can pay attention to our spouse and engage with our loved ones. Make your spouse and kids the winners in getting your attention and keeping it.

***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are strengthening your relationship by keeping hobbies and interests in the right perspective and finding hobbies that you can BOTH enjoy. Don’t let anything take precedence over your relationship with your partner. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone’s future spouse and someone’s future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let’s help save the world--one relationship at a time!

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