EP 88: High-Achievers, Relationship Legacy, and Parenting
Are you a high achiever who is constantly striving to be better? If so, then you probably know the feeling of beating yourself up because your best doesn’t seem good enough. Let’s talk about how this drive can translate into your relationships–and what you can do about it.
The feeling of always striving for more but never living up to your own high standards of perfection can translate into your relationship and parenting style. Believe me, I have been there. On Father’s Day this year, I turned the tables on my sons and wrote letters to them, letting them know that I’m aware of my failures as a parent. No one is born knowing how to be a good parent, but you have to acquire parenting skills along the way. As a high achiever, it takes a while to realize that you are bringing that same drive to your personal relationships–and messing them up. There are feelings of guilt when you look at the failures and shortcomings, and you can focus on those to the point that you don’t remember all the good times and successes. There is nothing wrong with having high goals and driving toward excellence, but we have to accept that we fail as a spouse and a parent–and we have to move forward.
Be willing to communicate with your spouse and kids when you know you have messed up. Mistakes happen, and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Apologize for the times you lost your temper, were too tough on your kids, or acted like a dick to your family. Most parents are just trying to do the best they can with the skills they have, and every parent has to learn along the way.
Write the legacy letter
If your kids are teens or young adults, take the time to write them each a letter. Apologize. Let them know that you were learning along the way and doing the best you could do. Bring it out into the open. Let them know that you are proud of them and support them as they grow up. This open communication can open doors for conversations and break down walls of bitterness and resentment. This one small gesture can transform your relationship with your kids and help you move forward. Another good idea is to write a journal for your child about your thoughts and fears as they were born and grew through important life milestones. Take the time to share your parenting challenges and relationship lessons learned. These are ways to solidify your relationship legacy!
***Leave me your feedback. I would love to hear how you are growing in your relationship with your spouse and children. Let me know how you keep communication lines open to admit your failures and if you’ve written a legacy letter. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone’s future spouse and someone’s future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let’s help save the world--one relationship at a time!
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Mentioned in today’s episode:
The Day That Turns Your Life Around by Jim Rohn
The Richest Man in Babylon by George Samuel Clason
The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
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